Women Should Not Be Property

Legal marriage, February 1993.
No ownership, although she is wearing my late great uncle's coat. 😉

This was prompted by Gloria Steinem’s and Dolly Parton’s deaths. 

I don’t see everything everywhere all the time as an incarnation of sexism (or racism etc.). But it is amazing how many situations where male is still the default. Every once in a while, look at something (TV show, book, podcast) and ask yourself, “Is this menmenmenmenmen?” The answer is generally “Yes.” 

2026 and The Bechdel Test is still a thing.

Maybe even more than that, though, is the ongoing idea that a modern, liberal woman still needs to “Have it all” – a full career while creating, birthing, and being the primary caregiver to kids. And also be judged by their looks (see below). Brutal.

Excerpts from 2022’s Losing My Religions:

I thought it was offensive – viscerally offensive – to have a father “give away” his daughter. How does this not perpetuate the idea that a woman is property? Diane wanted to take my name, which again is symbolic of a property exchange. 

…

Driving in New Mexico a few days ago, we listened to an episode of the [now defunct] podcast No Stupid Questions where psychologist Angela Duckworth [Grit] and Stephen Dubner [Freakonomics] noted that women in our society are judged first on their looks, and second on having kids. Men are judged for what they do. 

[Doesn’t that say it all? Seriously.]

…

[Our kid-to-be’s] surname was continually a big deal [while Anne was pregnant]. In yet another example of how men are considered owners, women would ask, “How will people know who the father is?” That one caught me by surprise. Women’s willingness to allow themselves to be “given away” from father to husband, with the surname changing to reflect the change in ownership, is utterly repulsive. Everyone who thinks that women have it easy should imagine being so indoctrinated that you go along with it.