One thing we hammered into EK: Don’t ever think you can change someone, or even hope they will change.
This might be the most useful relationship advice in Losing My Religions. (Then again, maybe not! “Don’t do natural childbirth” is far more important but relevant to many fewer people.)
In song version:
You can't change somebody
With your love, no matter
Practical take-away: If there is something you want done - dishes put in the sink, things organized a specific way, driver’s seat adjusted, clothes kept a certain way - just do it yourself.
Sitting around stewing that your partner won’t do something you want is just creating unhappiness. You didn’t get with this person because they are a programmable robot (see below). Expectations and resentment poison a relationship; it is far better to think “This bothers me more than it bothers you, so I’ll either do it myself or decide it’s not worth caring about.”
Or: “If adopting this approach makes you feel taken advantage of, it is time to re-evaluate your relationship.”
And I know the below is repetitive, but my gawd, SMBC is just tooooo gooooood!
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