On Being Looksist

Dan Bern: "Rolling Away"

For the "Andi McDowell" line.
And the "dog" section is fantastic. And we're having Indian today.
OK, all his commentary is hilarious.
Just listen - you won't regret it.

Every day I'm amazed*.

Anne and I recently had a conversation with a younger friend who was getting back into the dating scene. They asked what Anne and I thought about how they should present themselves in terms of physical appearance. The question was basically, "Should I try to look better than I normally do?"

Yes.

As I explain on pp. 161-164 of the ook-bay, Anne is not only my soulmate, but shockingly similar in background, beliefs, and nature. (“They say you shouldn’t marry yourself. (Or a foxier, more-mature version of yourself.) But it worked out damn well for me.”)

I'll be honest. If she had looked like Chris Evans or Amy Schumer - two attractive people who seem like they'd be cool to hang out with - we would not have wed a week after our first "date." 

But here's the thing about how I "normally" look: Anne makes me more attractive. And she makes me want to be more attractive (and aesthetically pleasing).

It isn't "Now I'm married I can become a fat slob." I want to make her life as wonderful as it can be, and that includes my appearance. I don't really care how my hair looks or how I dress - I want those to be as close to optimal as possible for Anne's pleasure. 

Also, I want to be as strong as possible and as fit as possible to have as many active years with her as possible.

Honestly, there wasn't any "real me" before I met Anne. 

*To counter Anne's inevitable comment about using a picture from when she was in her 20s: I'm amazed that someone so smart and thoughtful and athletic and beautiful chose to be with me 30+ years ago. And to show how she remains aesthetically pleasing, here's a brand-new picture at a few months short of 60: