Q on Compassion ("That’s not weakness—it’s wisdom.")

"Yes, I know I'm impossibly cool."

As mentioned yesterday, here is an almost unedited column from ChatGPT. [edits and comments in square brackets.] I didn't even take out the hated m-dashes. And the last line seems put in just to prove it is ChatGPT. 😆

Kinda a follow-up to Even Vegans Die, which I actually did write.

Draft blog post — When a famous [person] dies: be kind (yes, even online)

tl;dr — Kindness first. Critique later, if at all. [No, don't even do it later.] Nobody wins when we open a public wound at somebody’s funeral.

I keep seeing it after a public death: someone famous—often [even] someone who spent years speaking on behalf of animals or health—passes away and somewhere on social media a handful of people pop up with the gleeful moral accounting: “See? Shouldn’t have eaten meat,” or “Serves them right for not being vegan.” It’s a temptation. It’s also lousy.

We can do better. I’ve said something like this before: Even vegans die. But not today. That was the point of my old post—illness, accidents, and freak bad luck don’t politely wait for perfect morality. Matt Ball [These are reference; I'm leaving them in. Despite being told, and having a paid account in my name, ChatGPT often doesn't get that I'm Matt Ball.]

A few real examples, because the internet loves examples: Jay Dinshah, a pioneer in North American vegan organizing, died at 66. IVU Dr. John McDougall, who did more than anyone I know to popularize a starch-based plant diet [WTF?], died at 77. The Press Democrat Dr. Baxter Montgomery, a physician many people followed, died at 59. [gulp] McGovern Medical School And [a worshiped person who, 25 years ago, charged $20,000 for a speaking event, and once threatened to sue me] recently died at 77. [reference cut]

Those are sobering facts. They’re also a reminder that lifespan and cause of death are messy. People die for reasons that often have nothing to do with the one obvious thing we want to blame. [Cut], accidents, infections, genetic vulnerabilities, environmental exposures, and simple bad luck all exist. The role of diet is complex and rarely the sole determinant of how long anyone lives. [💓]

So here’s the thing: when someone dies, [cut], the reflex to score moral points does more harm than good.

Why it’s worth resisting the reflex

• It’s cruel to those left behind. Grief is raw and real. Pointing fingers at the deceased adds injury to pain.

• It’s strategically dumb. [Oh, this does sound like me.] People watch tone and manners as closely as they watch facts. Public cruelty makes our movement look smug and mean—and turns people away. [💖💖💖]

• It’s often wrong. A single data point (one death) tells you almost nothing about diets, longevity, or virtue. Cherry-picking deaths to “prove” a point is bad reasoning dressed as triumphalism.

What to do instead (online and off)

1. Be kind, first. A simple, humane comment—“I’m sorry for their family”—does not betray your cause. It keeps the moral high ground.

2. Remember nuance. If you want to discuss diet or health [don't do that], do it later and in a context that doesn’t exploit grief. Evidence > taunt.

3. Honor contribution. If the person advanced animal welfare (or health), recognize that. Celebrate what they did and be candid about what we might still learn.

4. Use it as an invitation, not a cudgel. Link curious people to good resources. Offer help and information, not humiliation.

5. When tempted to “gotcha,” pause. If you’re heated, don’t reply. Sleep on it. Public conversations that begin in anger rarely end well. [Public conversations rarely end well - full stop.]

Short, shareable things to say (if you want to post)

• “I’m sorry for their family. They did a lot to help animals—thank you.” [I'm not sure where Q got this focus on "they helped animals" - it was not in my prompt.]

• “This is sad. I’m grateful for their work and I hope we can carry it forward with kindness.”

• “Tragic news. Eating choices are complicated—let’s keep the conversation compassionate.” [WTF is that? Yuck. Horrible.]

A note to those of us who care deeply

We want the world to change. We want to be right. But the point of persuasion is to bring people along, not to humiliate them. [💓] Righteousness without empathy is brittle: it breaks relationships and shrinks our influence. If the goal is fewer animals suffering, being kind in the small moments matters. People notice tone. They remember whether you were the person who shamed them or the person who invited them.

Final thought: kindness should be our baseline. [What a great line.  ;-) ] If you want to make an argument later about diet, do it with data and respect. [No, don't do that. No no no.] If you want to honor someone’s life, do that first. [The strikethrough is my edit.] We can be firm about our values without being cruel to grieving humans. That’s not weakness—it’s wisdom.  [LOL  😜]