About the author

Matt is the author, co-author, secondary-author, ghost-author, and non-author of articles, speeches, book chapters, and even entire books! Next will be the bestseller "Losing My Religions." Currently, he is President of One Step for Animals; previously, he was shitcanned from more nonprofits than there is room to list here. Before Matt’s unfortunate encounter with activism, he was an aerospace engineer who wanted to work for NASA to impress Carl Sagan. His hobbies include photography, almost dying, and {REDACTED} He lives in Tucson with Anne and no dogs, no cats, and no African tortoises (although he cares for all of these).

Saturday, December 17, 2016

No Chicken Sandwich?

"Sadly, no matter how you slice it, there’s no way to make a chicken sandwich without first killing the chicken. But at least one fast food chain is considering a more humane way of slaughtering the poultry that they use for their various sandwiches and nuggets.

"The new method, being considered by McDonald’s, would simply replace the oxygen in the chickens’ air with an inert gas such as nitrogen. That way, the chickens would peacefully pass out before going to the great big broiler in the sky. Well, I don’t know if it’s so peaceful. You’ll have to ask them.

"It certainly, however, beats the current method that most processors are using where chickens are stunned with an electrical charge before having their throats slit. It actually sounds like something right out of the Godfather movies.

Hey Donald - no killing here!
"But, you know? After reviewing this whole subject matter, I don’t think I’ll ever have a chicken sandwich again."

-Donald Trump, 2005


Brian said...

This is from a "Trump Radio" bit, right? We've been looking for the original audio for a long time. Do you have it???

Matt Ball said...

Paul has it.